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Bonded by Blood

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[03 Sep 2005|10:07am]

I noticed that Fred and Gunn kept their distance once Wesley was gone. I also noticed that they didn't make their presence known until a few minutes after Wes had walked out the hotel lobby door. Fred seemed as if she was caught in the middle, especially at breakfast. Gunn didn't say two words to me and I was okay with it. I'd broach the subject with Gunn sometime after I'd had a chance to sleep.

"Angel, is Wesley coming back to work?" Fred had asked as she poured Gunn more juice. The look Gunn shot her nearly made Fred spill the juice.

"I don't know. We haven't got that far." I said, shooting a glare in Gunn's direction. So much for them broaching the subject later. "If he wants to come back, he'll be more than welcomed. We could use him..."

"Man. That ocean done screwed with your head, Angel." Gunn said in a disgusted tone, throwing his napkin down on the tabe as he pushed his chair away to stand up. "Have you forgotten what he did? English done went and took your boy..."

"Drop it. This is between Wesley and me and it does not concern..." My words were cut off when Fred dropped the glass of juice she was holding. "Fred?"

"That's not fair, Angel. I'm not saying that we don't need him or anything.."She held up a hand to keep Gunn from interupting. "Listen to what I'm saying, Charles. This isn't just between the two of you, Angel. We're a family and we work together. Maybe Wesley had his reasons, but we haven't heard those reasons so it's hard for us to understand why you'd be so gung ho to have him back here. It wasn't all that long ago that you were trying to kill him in his hospital bed."

"You don't know his reasons because no one asked. We assumed the worst and we never gave him a chance to explain. Some family." I said, pushing my cup of mug away as I stood up. "We missed the signs, guys. He was locked in that office for days trying to disprove that prophecy and where were we? Off enjoying the new tranquil life we'd been blessed with. Only Wes kept his guard up."

"'Cept he didn't come to us either. Didn't pull any of us aside to explain what was goin' on in there. Ask for some help. Clue a brother in that he was about to make a move that could have gotten his English ass killed." Gunn folded his arms across his chest and refused to look at me. "I ain't ready to be okay with that, Angel."

"Fair enough. Leave it out of the hotel. Wes is welcome here. I won't have him feeling out of place because you aren't ready to deal with what happened."

"Right. Fred and I are goin' to move in to Cordy's place. Got to pay rent there anyway and this way you can have Wes here all you want without fear I'm gonna scare him away." He brushed past me and went up towards the stairs and I didn't try to stop him.

"It will just be until we find her, Angel. If you need anything all you have to do is call and..." Fred's words trailed off as I nodded my head at her. "I should go pack."

I watched her leave and sank back down into my chair. The hotel was going to be lonely with everyone cleared out, but I was used to solitude. Maybe Wes and I would have a better chance to bringing Connor home if Connor didn't have to worry about so many people being here. Maybe Wes would be more comfortable here if he didn't have to wait with baited breath for a door to open and accusations and insults to start flying. Cordy's place did need to be looked over. This could be a good thing for all of us.

So, why did I feel so alone?

I checked my watched and realized I'd need to grab some sleep before I met Wesley right after sunset. I knew my dreams around be about oceans and the cold. About vengeance and mistakes and the people I couldn't say. The people I chose to kill. Same dreams every night and at least if no one was in the hotel, then no one could hear me scream. That alone should had made me feel better.

An hour before sunset I woke up in a cold sweat screaming out Connor's name. Managed to make it to the shower without getting sick. The images of what I'd done to my son in those dreams were burned into my memory. I turned the water on as hot as I could stand it and stayed under the shower head until I felt the hot water running out. I was dressed and in my car ten minutes after sunset and driving towards Wesley's apartment. We were going to find Connor and hopefully Wesley would be able to reach him.
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[06 Aug 2005|09:26pm]

[ mood | confused ]

Continued from Here

Sleep is a wonderful thing....Collapse )

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[24 Jun 2005|12:58pm]

Wes parked the car outside of the Hyperion and turned to look at me. I could tell that the last place he wanted to be was here and chances were, he'd have to help me inside. "I think I can make it back on my own." I said, but the look he shot me told me that he knew better. Couldn't blame me for having my pride though. Well, I guess he could blame me for a lot of things.

I managed to get out of the car without his assistance, but it was only a couple of steps towards the hotel before I stumbled. Wesley caught me by the arm and steadied me. We had to look ridiculous to any casual observer. I was more than twice his size, but he was the one supporting me as we slowly made our way toward the door.

The looks on Gunn's and Fred's faces when they caught sight of us was almost comical. They seemed shocked and a little repulsed. Guess I was having one hell of a bad hair day. "Where's Connor?" I asked, as Wesley lead me to the couch in the middle of the lobby. Exhaustion was setting in and I wanted to sleep, but that would have to wait. First things first. I needed to deal with my son.

"He's tied up in your office." Fred said, shrugging when I shot her a look. "We thought it was best if he was secured until you got back."

"By we she means's she." Gunn corrected. "She tazered him and then we tied him up. Boy had it comin'. Can't believe all this time he's been playin' us and we bought it. You gonna be alright man?"

"Wesley saved me." I don't know why I had to say it because it was more than obvious, but there it was. I'd said it. They now knew that Wesley had gone above and beyond the call of duty to bring me back home.
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[03 Apr 2005|09:57pm]

[ mood | Bitter ]

After my so called friends, my family had unceremoniously dropped me like a stone I did a lot of things. Actually, not really. I drank. A lot. It's amazing what you can get delivered at your door. Not only take out meals. Though, I've used a lot of those as well. When I remembered to eat. Which wasn't often, eating still hurt a lot. There are times I wished Justine's knife went just a little deeper, a little more to the side. Then all of this would be over, this nightmare would be over.

Speaking of JustineCollapse )

Sitting on the sofa, my trusty bottle of whiskey in one hand, I go over my choices. Taking a large gulp from the bottle, why bother with glasses really, I sigh. I've no choice. The world needs a...hero. Which, well let's face it. Is not this failure of a human being. And I do owe him.

"Time to go fishing I guess."

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